[00:00:00] Speaker A: What's up, sluts? Welcome back to thy queendom. Come. I am your host, Queen Lo.

How's everyone doing?

After a very, in my opinion, disturbing election week, I feel like it's important to share with you guys something that is really bringing me joy in this moment. The thing that's bringing me actually the most joy in this moment is I got my IUD removed a few weeks ago, and that means that it is finally safe to steam my pussy once again.

Yeah, that's right. Look up yoni steaming. And so I ordered a yoni steamer online and I realized that it came and it's just like an attachment on the top of my toilet. I'm like, what the fuck?
Steaming my yoni is supposed to be like a meditative, spiritual experience. I don't want to sit and do it on the toilet. So I asked my neighbor, who is like a. A craftsman. Like, he's. He's crazy. He just builds beautiful things. I just asked him if he would build me, like, a fucking chair for my yoni steamer that I could set up on my sunset terrace, which, like, has a beautiful view, like, looks over the water so that I can literally steam my pussy and watch the sunset all at the same time. And this man not only agreed, but brought over the progress last night, and he's building me a pussy steaming throne. It's a throne.

It's like, crafted with such care and brilliance. And so the one thing bringing me joy right now, truly, is that while all you sluts are, the weather's changing and you're about to start freezing your fucking nuts off, the weather here is fucking perfect here in paradise. And while you're either freezing your nuts off or I'm busting them, I'm gonna be steaming my pussy, watching the sunset in paradise. So anyways, there's that completely unrelated to the episode, and that's fucking fine because this is my fucking show anyways.

Today we are gonna talk about service. So many of you say that you wanna serve and have quite honestly, like, no fucking idea what you're talking about. But today it's gonna be a little tough love. I get a little feisty, but you are going to learn. And as I mentioned in the episode, speaking of service, if you want to serve me in person, go to my website and fill out an application for my January west coast tour. I will be in LA, Vegas and Sacramento from January 11th to the 25th. So check out my website for specifics on that and enjoy the episode.

[00:03:03] Speaker B: Dreams can come from neighbors too. The queendom will Take over you. Dreams can come from nightmares too. The queendom will take over you.

[00:03:20] Speaker A: All right, guys, so any submissive out there, wannabe submissive who has ever uttered the phrase, I want to serve you in the BDSM dom sub context, or if you want to, this conversation is for you. Today I have a sub who. He's great. We've had some awesome sessions together. He. He has spent a shit ton of money, and he always asks me about my next podcast episodes.

He, like, wants to be in the know. And so, A, I know he's listening to this, and B, he has inspired today's conversation.

This is a sub who, like many others, often tells me, I want to serve you. I'm here to serve you. I'm ready to serve you.

And a few weeks ago, we usually, you know, will get on a call. However, this day that we couldn't connect on a video call. I had just gotten home from a trip, I was working, and he said something about wanting to serve me. And so I sent him a link to my wish list and said, go buy me a massage. Like, send me for a massage tomorrow. That would definitely be serving me in a

practical way. I haven't heard from this motherfucker since, and this is not the first time that I have given him an opportunity to very practically serve me. And he's just kind of like, disappeared into the darkness. And this is not uncommon. And that's why I think we have to have a conversation about service today. Because just like any other kink, I enjoy helping my subs realize their kinks, understand them, experience them, and then take them out into the world and be able to practically use parts of it to make their personal lives better. And service as a kink, feeling useful, serving your time, your money, your energy for the benefit of another is not you.

Service as a kink is just like chastity as a kink or cei as a kink. And just as I am here to help you along whatever your kink journey is, I'm here to help you in service, too. Because what I've realized is that a lot of your definitions of service fucking suck.

A lot of your definitions of service are actually serving no one but yourself. And it's bizarre to actually, like, watch so many of you get off on the idea of being useful but never actually being useful. You want so badly to be useful to me, but you're not in any practical way. All right, so, like, so subs come in all the time. I want to serve you, Queen. I want to serve You. And what does that practically mean most of the time? The majority of the time it means that they want to quote, literally, I want to stroke to your beauty. I want to be an ass slave. I want to edge to you for hours.

I think this is not only important to talk about in order to be like literate and knowledgeable and know what the fuck you're saying within this world of kink and bdsm, but it's also important to talk about because there's this, this idea that like, the male gaze is so powerful and in and of itself is a service. The idea that you can get hard for me and you can stroke for me and come for me. The idea that that is somehow this service that I like, that, that, that is like in and of itself serving me. It's flattering to me. Or in the sub that I am talking about, in his case, crazy enough, we've been working together a long time. We've spent a lot of time together. This fucker has never come. He's never come. Most of the time he's caged. Literally, it's half the time we're talking. I sometimes make him fuck himself with the fuck machine. Because in that moment, like he's surrendering his body, I'm controlling the fuck machine. I'm being entertained. I'm also watching him literally surrender his body to what I want. In a way that in of itself is a service.
He's using his body in that moment, offering it up. However, most of the time this sub is. We're just like really like basking in my presence. Like we're chit chatting, we're having a great time. But he often slips in that I'm just here to serve you, goddess. And a lot of subs do that. Like I'm ready to serve you. As if when they're ready to get on a video call with me or when they're ready to have a session with me, they calling the session in and of itself service. But I charge an hourly rate. And you paying that hourly rate in and of itself is not service.

In fact, it's me serving you. Like my time, my energy, my like facilitating this experience for you. Like you sitting there and gooning over my body, watching me move my body. Or listen to what I'm telling you. There is a word for that. Like there is gooning. You just sitting back and watching and stroking and as I or as someone moves and you're drooling and melting, that's fucking gooning. There's a word for that. What it is not is service simply because you're paying to be there. The same way that you're not serving your accountant, you're not serving your bartender. You're paying for a service that they give to you. It's an equal exchange of value. You paying my rate to be on a call with you is me working.

I'm providing you with the service, which is great. I love providing that service. I love providing sessions that include all sorts of different kinks and fetishes and scenarios. However, service as a kink, being useful, feeling useful, being serving someone. In this context, in any context, when you're serving someone, you are doing something for them. You are being thoughtful, you are doing something with nothing expected in return. You are going outside of yourself to think about

what would make this person's life practically easier. That is service.

That is the type of, you know, worship. Almost like religious, like, I am serving a God. Like I am. That is what a lot of subs, when they say, I want to serve you, that is what they actually mean. But they are considering the service that I am providing them. The fact that they are paying for it, that that in and of itself is the service, or that them stroking their cocks or gazing at me or being so enamored by me, like their presence, like them being here and paying for this, is in and of itself making my life easier. It's somehow a service to me, but it's not because it's this sub or it's another one. Like, there's endless people out there who will pay for my services. I have plenty of people paying for my services. I love my job, I love what I do. There's a much smaller number of my subs who come into my sessions, come into sessions and say that they want to serve and they're devoted and they love me and that I've created. I am their dominant, their force, their guide. And then they leave that hour, whatever session, and they go out in their normal life and they're going about their life and they're like, oh, you know what? Queen Low would like a coffee this morning. I should just send Queen Lo a coffee. That's fucking service.

Service is knowing that I basically live in lingerie, so fucking surprising me with a lingerie fucking gift card. That service excite me, make my life easier. When I was in la, I had a sub offer to bring me a giant bag of weed. And a giant bag of weed he fucking brought. It was awesome.

If I lived in la, I would have local subscribers for sure who went to fucking Trader Joe's for me and did my laundry and swept my floors and shit like that is actually service. I don't have local subs. Most of my subs are online. And I didn't get into this profession. I don't do this because I thought I was walking into something that, oh, they're going to serve me and buy me fucking massages all day long for doing absolutely nothing. That's never what I came here for. It's also just completely unrealistic as a business model. But I'm having this conversation because so many of you come to me with this fantasy and this desire to serve. You clearly want to. You clearly want to feel useful in this way. You want to have some type of positive impact on my life.

The money you're spending to have this call with me is not that positive impact in and of itself. Like what service looks like with a lot of you guys. I saw a video on fucking TikTok or something where it was like, a woman out to dinner with her husband and her kids, and the kids were just fucking crawling all over her. Like crayons, Mac and cheese, just shit going everywhere. And it pans to the husband and he's like sitting there eating his chicken wings, like, completely unbothered, totally relaxed, enjoying the game on the tv. It's like having the best night out. I think the caption on it was like, honey, like, let's go out for dinner. You know, it made me think, like, as if you know the man. It's like coming home to your wife and saying, honey, I don't want you to cook tonight. I want to take you out. Let's go out. Let's relieve the burden. I want to serve you.
I'm going to go buy you and the kids dinner. It's going to be great. And then going out to dinner and like, creating more fucking work for her. Like, she's working. She's working so hard right now. But then for some reason, in the mind of man, he served like he's. He's provided service. He drove everyone to dinner. He paid the bill. Like he mom didn't have to fucking cook dinner. Like, what? This was great. Like, you're just serving yourself.

Like you're not. And even if you're not directly serving yourself, you're not actually going outside of what the fuck you want and thinking about the person who you're trying to serve. What do they want? What could be useful to them? And something that happens all the time. I can't quite figure it out. It's definitely a conversation for another day. If any of you have insight into this, please do let me know. A lot of guys specifically with money, a lot of guys with a lot of money who are not into fandom, who are strongly not into fandom. Like, we'll be having a conversation and they will be expressing their gratitude, their devotion, how they want to serve me. And I'm fucking working. I'm a working gal. I'm like, practically in this moment, I tell them, you can buy my drink. That is such a practical way to just be of service to anybody. That's why you buy

somebody a drink when you meet them. It's a fucking love language. Like, it's a love language to feel like someone thought of you and was like, you're working hard, you're having a long night.
Fuck, you're not having a long night. Whatever. Like, hey, here's 10 bucks for a cocktail or for a tea on me. It's such a practical way to serve me. And you see, it's not about the ten fucking dollars. It's literally about the desire to serve. And then for some reason, when you're given this practical, practical way to serve, it's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. And again, like I said, especially with these guys who. It's weird, they have a lot of money, they'll drop so much on so much different shit. But when it comes to paying for a drink, sending for a massage, like, doing shit like that, money's not the issue. Clearly, when it comes to something, it's like, oh, I'm not into phenom. Like, oh, I'm not into phandom. I'm not into. And it's you buying me a drink, you fucking sending me a lingerie gift card, or sending me a fucking massage day in the morning so that when I wake up, I see that a sub is like, hey, you know what? Fuck today's morning. Go get yourself a massage. Like, that is fucking service.

That is a practical way to be actually useful to me. And I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. I'm not asking every single sub to go buy me massages or even buy my drinks or send me gifts.
That's not a fucking requirement for every single one of my subscribers. It is a response to the desire that I receive from a lot of you. The desire to serve. I want to be useful to you. I want to be, like, your favorite. I want to serve you. I want to make your life easier. I'm like, guys, I'm working. I work fucking hard.

I mean, it's almost in a way disrespectful. It's almost a little bit demeaning at times when the level actually of time and energy and thought that I put into my sessions, into guiding my subs and clients through these experiences, to then have them leave that experience with this thought that they have now served me is like the guy with the fucking dinner and the white. Like, it's, it's. And like you have not. You have served yourself, which is fine. Again, I offer sessions and most of my sessions, it is very much about the sub. This is about you. This is about your experience. Like, this is very much about you. That's fine. Just call it what it is. Like, let's not leave with a jaded sense of what service actually looks like, because it's not helping anybody. It's not helping you achieve what you really want. It's not helping you actually serve me. Your dominant or anyone in your life if you don't know how to get out of your own desires and your own needs and your own wants and actually think about somebody else's. I fully understand why someone would push back from Phandom. Phandom is a kink, just like any other kink. However, when I'm doing phendom with someone, it's very known what we're doing.

I am draining them. It is a structured. We're participating in it just like any other kink. And I think sometimes people, when they have said, when they have, you know, they want to be useful, they want to serve me this, this and that. I tell them to buy my drink and they almost feel like I'm pushing them into fandom. Like, I'm not pushing you into fandom any more than I'm pushing someone who said absolutely no anal into pegging. Like, I'm not pushing you into a separate kink. Just because there's cash involved. Just because it's the same medium does not make it the same thing. I have a sub who about a year ago, we met for a session and he brought a pair of shorts that had been specially monogrammed. Queen Lowe's Bitch or Queen Low Slut on the ass. And it was fucking great. It was hilarious. It was so thoughtful. And I was able to take pictures of him with his fucking ass up with the shorts and like money all over the fucking mattress. And I was able to take that picture and use it as content. I have another sub who doesn't spend much money at all, doesn't have much money to spend, but promotes me all the time on Twitter, makes new awesome promotions posts for me, doesn't ever ask to do it, just does it as a form of service. And I really fucking appreciate that. Like, that's just. It's just kind. It's just thoughtful. But more than being thoughtful and kind, which it is, it's actually fulfilling this fantasy, this desire that you have. When my subs, who actually go out of their way to do something nice for me, when they randomly send for my manicure pedicure that they know I have to have because I have to fucking look hot, I just bought a fucking $300 LED mask

because I am going to stay fucking hot forever. Like, my subs, who are clued into that kind of shit, and they're like, you know what? I'm gonna give you this just to make your life easier. Like, that is. That's service. And the funny thing is that if we were talking about a female submissive with a male dominant, it's pretty easy to imagine what service looks like.

Like, if it's a female we're talking about who's waiting at home on her knees, naked, collared for her master to arrive and dinner is ready. Like, nobody questions that. That is service. If it's the female in that submissive spot, it is hardwired into us what it looks like for a female to be submissive. It's everywhere.

But for a male to be submissive, it's not as clear because it's not as normal. It's not as seen, talked about. It doesn't look the same to serve a woman. It doesn't look the same to serve any two fucking people.

For me, if you want to serve me, if we're in a session, if we're doing a session like my sub, bringing those shorts subs, bringing creativity, thinking, writing me a fucking poem, bringing me a card. Like, for me, service looks like, yes, of course. Like, buying me shit and serving me with your wallet, but also serving me with your time and your body, trusting me and your energy, being creative and intentional when you come to this space and not just coming into my realm and saying, I want to serve you, and then expecting me to, like, literally guide you through an experience this entire time. Because there's not one original thought or idea or anything that you're actually adding to the space. Like, you can serve me by being intentional, by being creative, being fun, being entertaining. And like I've stated before, not everybody is into service. It is not a prerequisite to have sessions with Me to be into service. To be a service slut.

However, I am about as interested in participating in this 100% fantasy of service as I am in participating in the guy's fantasy of having his fucking sister's cheerleading team peg him when he's not so much as ever had a thumb up his ass or had a conversation with a real, actual female. Like, he's living in fucking fantasy land. And it's so obvious. And me personally, I don't like living there.

I like the interactions with my subs. There is fantasy, there's a lot of fantasy, but there's also a level of reality that it's rooted in. And there's also this recognition that, okay, this is a fantasy. I have these elements of it are the things that I actually do want for myself. I want to experience those. I don't want them to be a fantasy for fucking ever. And it's about actually making steps towards achieving those things, even if it isn't the actual fantasy itself being completely realized, but the feelings within the fantasy, the things that you want to explore, actually taking the step to do that instead of just living in your fantasies 100% of the time. Because it's my belief, I don't really think that does anything.

I don't think it actually makes you a deeper, like sexually or more intimate with yourself or with others. I don't think it actually teaches you anything about yourself, sexually or non sexually, to constantly come back to a fantasy that is so far removed from your actual reality and then to live in that fantasy for a few minutes to get off and then go out into your life, which doesn't make you feel a fraction of what that fantasy did for an hour. Like, what can we do to implement all these things that you actually desire? How can you leave this session and notice where you can put those things in? I mean, I say a lot like myself. Subs who A lot of them are dominant. They are out there crushing shit in real life. And they come here and they serve and they get on their knees and they actually serve. They listen. A big part of service is listening. Like I said, service for everyone looks different. I love receiving flowers in a way, like I love receiving flowers. I always have my man. We've been together almost three years and he still, still always brings me flowers. And he's not my sub. It is a literal act of service for someone that you love.

I think that everyone could gain something. I think everyone could learn something from dipping into that and practicing service in kink. But it's not something that I expect or push onto everyone at all.

So this conversation really is for the people who. If you're constantly going in to Doms and saying that you want to be of service and you want to serve, not only are they rolling their fucking eyes, but you're not actually like helping yourself either. Learn how to serve like you want to feel useful. Like that is literally at the, at the bottom of it. Like you want to give yourself, you want to provide a service, like you want to be of service. If that's something you actually want to do, you're not helping yourself by just constantly getting off to the idea and Dom's here, just letting it kind of pass and taking your money and not really ever diving into it.

And in true fashion. In true fashion, I will leave you with a little passage from Mark 12.

I mean, speaking of service, I feel like it's so appropriate. Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts, but a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins worth only a few cents. Jesus after that, said something about the rich people giving out of their abundance and the poor widow giving out of like, her devotion, her desire to serve and okay, I know it's completely fucking ridiculous that I'm reading scripture on this podcast, but I do think it's kind of fitting. But the point there is that if you're a sub of mine who has a ton of money and you're paying for sessions, great. But that's not service. The person, the poor widow who cast in the two coins was going above and beyond herself. The rich folks who put in the coins, it was easy for them. It didn't require any sacrifice for them. It was just easy. It's easy to do sessions with me. It's easy to pay for sessions with me. Service is going above and beyond. It's fine again if you don't want to do that, but let's not masquerade your paying my very high hourly rate that I am absolutely worthy of. Let's not ever pretend that that is you serving me.

So with that, you know, I'm excited.

I'm excited for some of you, maybe for the first time, to have some time to think about this. I'm excited to be surprised because I know some of you are going to take this shit to heart and actually surprise me, which makes me very fucking happy. And honestly, I'm very generous when I'm fucking happy.

And speaking of service, if you would like to serve me in person.

I am going to be on my west coast tour in January in la, Vegas and Sacramento. So definitely look at my website, send in your application and spend the meantime getting fucking creative thinking of all the ways that you are going to be useful to me. So that's it guys. I will see you next week. And to my slut who encouraged inspired this episode, I appreciate you for being a good sport and I really do look forward to getting my massage soon.

[00:29:34] Speaker B: She's got what you need while you over there at the door Nightmares are dreams you just need believe the queen has all that you should need Just say that queen will come that will be done Come right in, close the door just wait for what she's got in store Come right in, close the door just look for what you got in store. Dreams can come from nightmares too the queendom will take over you Dreams can come from nightmares too the queendom will take over you.

[00:30:14] Speaker A: Go and get em. Love thy queendom. Come is a production of TQC, LLC with original music by Guillermo Djamont Jr. And AJ Laurie.

Because it's either you or the next guy, there is an endless supply.