[00:00:01] Speaker A: Greetings from paradise. Sluts and hoes, welcome back to thy Queendom. Come. I am your host, Queen Lo. And today I am celebrating that I finally, after over, I guess, almost a year, have finally sent out my very first newsletter. Yay.

If you did not receive it, that was kind of lame. Yay.

If you did not receive it, that's probably because you are not subscribed. So to fix that, you should go to my website, thyqueendom.com subscribe there. You can even get a little bit off of a video call. Once you do subscribe, you can also find on my website tour dates for January. I'm gearing up for my west coast tour where I will be in Sacramento, Vegas, Los Angeles. It's going to be awesome. So, so go sign up for the newsletter to keep up with all of the incredible happenings and check out my tour dates if you are interested in serving me in person.

As for today's episode, I'm so excited. My friend and CEO, founder of PS Group marketing agency, Carly David, she was here visiting me a few weeks ago. And if you enjoy really fucking random episodes where I get totally smashed and are interested in hearing about the first time I ever drank Jagermeister, this episode is for you. Bottoms up, sluts.

[00:01:31] Speaker B: Dreams can come from nightmares too. The queendom will take over. You. Dreams can come from nightmares too. The queendom will take over.

[00:01:48] Speaker A: Well, I'm not even going to introduce it. I'm just going to like jump right into it. I am here today with Carly David, the CEO and founder of PS Group, which is a creative marketing agency for sex workers by sex workers. She actually did my website. Fucking go check it out. It's awesome.

[00:02:07] Speaker C: Thyquendom.com yeah, plug it.

[00:02:10] Speaker A: She is also the co founder of EPA United, which is a coalition of sex workers and allies. We actually had her counterpart, Savannah Sly here a couple of episodes ago. She is a retired sex worker and sex workers rights advocate. Carly David.

[00:02:30] Speaker C: Hello Lo. It's a pleasure to be here.

[00:02:34] Speaker A: I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy you're actually here. So Carly is here right now in paradise with me, visiting.

[00:02:41] Speaker C: I am physically looking at the queen in person. [00:02:45] Speaker A: We are breathing air. We are doing shots. Cheers. [00:02:48] Speaker C: She said, thy queens come. And I came. [00:02:51] Speaker A: She came. She sure as shit did.
She goes, salute. I'm not taking full shots because if I do, we're going to be completely fucked up by the time.

[00:03:02] Speaker C: Off the walls. Off the walls.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: So Carly came for a photo shoot. We did photo shoots. We actually Did a

webinar this week for sex workers, which is something that PS Group offers. They do free, free seminars for sex workers. So if that's for you, you should definitely check out her website.

[00:03:22] Speaker C: We are PSGroup.com webinars. You can also find our webinars on YouTube @werpsgroup.

[00:03:31] Speaker A: You're so good at that. I try plug it and pretty much there's where the professionalism ends.

[00:03:38] Speaker C: So that's it, folks. That's it.

[00:03:40] Speaker A: Okay, so we are playing a game. We're playing a game. And basically, I have a spirit spinning wheel here with 43 numbers on it. And I have a list that Carly has generously provided as. And she calls it her.

[00:03:55] Speaker C: Well, this was a pre pandemic, fleeting concept of a podcast that I was going to do called Amateur Rock Stars, which has two criteria that any topic you tell a story on. The story must be one, firsthand and two.

True. So here is the first public episode of Amateur Rock Stars. [00:04:27] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:04:28] Speaker C: As instigated by thy queen.

[00:04:31] Speaker A: Yes, of course. Because thy queen is an instigator.

We haven't narrowed down this list at all. We were going to choose and, like, be picky, but we were like, fuck it. We just put it all on there. And if it lands on one that we don't like or we're not feeling, we're going to take a shot. And then it's penalties.

[00:04:48] Speaker C: There are prices and penalties for not wanting to share a story. [00:04:52] Speaker A: Right.
Or not having a story. Yeah. Pleading the fifth. Or pretending to plead the fifth.

[00:04:59] Speaker C: Either way, I think they're shaking in their boots just waiting for our stories. [00:05:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, exactly. I would.
[00:05:11] Speaker C: I'm game. I'm game. I am an amateur rock star. Let's go for it.

[00:05:16] Speaker A: All right, so spinning first time. It's you. You're my guest of honor, so obviously you're first. Obviously, Queen makes the decisions.

Okay.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. And 35. 35 is out of your league.
[00:05:37] Speaker C: Out of your league.

[00:05:39] Speaker A: I forgot you have a 12 second thinking timer. [00:05:42] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Okay.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: You don't even need it. Excellent. [00:05:46] Speaker C: Okay, I thought of one. [00:05:47] Speaker A: Okay, let's hear it.
[00:05:48] Speaker C: Okay, so this was freshman year of college.

I. It was right after we were back from winter break and I lived in a dorm. I went to a school where they were, like, everyone was just really antisocial. There was no Greek life. Like, frat row was a block, and we were in a dorm full of all singles.

So everyone had their own room. And so you can just imagine the social vibe.

But it was a large group of us walking. This was in New York City, and we were walking, like, 20 blocks to a margarita happy hour place. And we were already three sheets to the wind, like, as a collective.

[00:06:39] Speaker A: Going to a happy hour.

[00:06:40] Speaker C: Going to a happy hour on New York's Upper west side.

And I am yabbering like I'm giving a TED Talk to the guy next to me, all about acting and how acting theory and Stanislavski and the Method and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And later that spring, his big movie came out.

[00:07:07] Speaker A: Shut the fuck up. I knew that's where this was going.

[00:07:09] Speaker C: And later was nominated for an Oscar for Brokeback Fountain. His name is Jake Gyllenhaal.

[00:07:17] Speaker A: Shut the fuck up. Oh, my God.
[00:07:21] Speaker C: He and I did not flirt again after that. It was so cringe, like this bitches.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Woman explaining my art. Oh, my God.

[00:07:33] Speaker C: It was pretty embarrassing. Not at the time. At the time, I thought I was really intelligent, but. But that was one that was out of my league. That was when I was out of my league. And I just made it very clear that it was out of my league.

[00:07:48] Speaker A: That's hilarious. That's amazing. Oh, God.

[00:07:53] Speaker C: And I. Oh, and he left college after that.

[00:07:55] Speaker A: So he went to college with you. I didn't. Yeah, I think I. [00:07:59] Speaker C: Freshman and part of sophomore year, I.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: Believe, like, kind of a weirdo. [00:08:04] Speaker C: I'm not gonna comment on that.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, that's fine. I feel like he's, like, kind of cool, kind of, like, sexy, but weird also. No, not weird, just cool and sexy.

[00:08:14] Speaker C: I didn't say that.

[00:08:15] Speaker A: He's aging. Like, find the wine. If he would ever. If he ever wanted to volunteer for my.

[00:08:21] Speaker C: I do remember he told me that he had more homework than Jesus had disciples. And I was like, that's a very odd analogy to offer.

[00:08:29] Speaker A: That was real. That wouldn't.

[00:08:31] Speaker C: That was legit. While he had, like, a harem in his single dorm room, chilling. It was like a harem.

[00:08:37] Speaker A: Shut up.

[00:08:37] Speaker C: But I think it was logic and rhetoric.

[00:08:39] Speaker A: You know what. But what's interesting about Jake Gyllenhaal is that I've always wondered, when I look at him, I'm like, are you actually hot? Are you just, like, are you hot because you're Jake Gyllenhaal? Like, if you weren't Jake Gyllenhaal, like, you're just a normal dude, would you be hot or would you, like, kind of not?

[00:08:54] Speaker C: I feel bad, but I don't think the Gyllenhaal's are going to come after me for saying that he was rather, like, non descript in college. Like, he did not get a lot of attention.

[00:09:07] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I could kind of see that. Like, he's very, like, unassuming.

[00:09:13] Speaker C: Yeah, there's some. [00:09:15] Speaker A: He's, like, low key hot.
[00:09:16] Speaker C: There are some celebrities who are, like, not hot, but they just glow. Yeah, it's like fucking John Travolta.

[00:09:25] Speaker A: Okay, no. Fuck, no. Absolutely not. [00:09:26] Speaker C: He's not hot.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: No, he's not.

[00:09:29] Speaker C: But I have never seen such, like, star charisma off of someone. Except for Liza Minnelli, which we were discussing earlier, as we do.

[00:09:38] Speaker A: Yeah, we were watching Arrested Development, to.

[00:09:40] Speaker C: Be fair, which, if you know anything about Carly, David, you know she's a big fan of Arrested Development and that Buster is her favorite.

[00:09:47] Speaker A: John Travolta gives me the fucking ick. Tom Cruise also gives me the major ick. Major, major, major. Those are two, like, notoriously, like, people see them as sexy and I, like, literally, I shrivel.

[00:09:57] Speaker C: I don't think. I think they were deemed sexy, like, 40 years ago.

[00:10:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. I mean, fucking. I mean, Dean, that's hot, you know? No. Is that, like, not the same timeline?

[00:10:11] Speaker C: Not the same timeline. Oh. Oh, my God. You just made me feel so old.

[00:10:18] Speaker A: Okay, I know that James Dean was with Marilyn Monroe, and obviously we're not in the same timeline. I was thinking maybe he, like, died early. Okay, you know what? Just clip that whole part out.

[00:10:28] Speaker C: James was, like, 19 when he died or something. He was, like 27.

[00:10:33] Speaker A: It was. It was. He was with Marilyn Monroe in the Times and she would still be alive. Anyways. You know what? I'm gonna drink for that.

[00:10:39] Speaker C: I'm not in it for that. I'm just in it for the drink. Okay.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: Anybody's interested, I'm drinking Fireball this evening because I'm a fucking detective.

[00:10:50] Speaker C: And Carly is, you know, splitting it between her electrolyte Powerade and her Jagermeister.

[00:10:57] Speaker A: And red wine, by the way.

[00:10:59] Speaker C: Red wine. I know. I like to live on the edge.

[00:11:02] Speaker A: Like, we want to die. It's crazy. Okay, all right, so I'm gonna spin the wheel.

[00:11:06] Speaker C: It's your turn. Yeah, I think we kicked that one dead.

[00:11:12] Speaker A: We beat that one. We rode those until the wheels fell off. All right, 36. [00:11:18] Speaker C: Ooh. What could it be?
[00:11:20] Speaker A: Meet the parents.

Yours or theirs? Okay. All right, I'm gonna start. I want 15 seconds. I decided I want 15 seconds to think. Okay. Meet the parents. Meet the parents.

[00:11:33] Speaker C: Do I want her to drink? [00:11:34] Speaker A: Like, meet the parents.
[00:11:35] Speaker C: Just distract you so it's like 4261s.

[00:11:41] Speaker A: Meet the parents. Meet the parents. God, I don't know if I have anything. [00:11:45] Speaker C: Drink.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: I don't know if I have anything. It went out. I have to drink. God, that's. [00:11:50] Speaker C: Actually.
[00:11:50] Speaker A: Guys, it's a lot harder than you. [00:11:51] Speaker C: It's pressure.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, wait. [00:11:54] Speaker C: Oh, drink.
[00:11:57] Speaker A: I was trying to think of a disaster story. [00:12:00] Speaker C: What are you talking about?
[00:12:02] Speaker A: I was naturally. I was trying to think, okay, everyone, for everyone who doesn't know, my man is here right now, and he's literally looking at me because he literally met my family, like, not long ago. But it went so well. It was wonderful. It went really great. In my mind, like, I was thinking, like, I wanted, like a. I wanted, like a really disaster story.

[00:12:21] Speaker C: It doesn't have to be a disaster story.

[00:12:23] Speaker A: I don't know why my mind always goes there, you know? [00:12:26] Speaker C: All right, next on the list.
[00:12:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, I still drank for that.

[00:12:30] Speaker C: Because she did. I can guarantee. And yes, confirm.

[00:12:37] Speaker A: Okay, spin for Carly. Da da da da da da da da da da da da. 33, drunk driving.

[00:12:48] Speaker C: Oh, God.

Drunk driving. Well, let me put this out there. I have never driven drunk in my life.

[00:12:59] Speaker A: And these stories are supposed to be real, but actually, this one's not.

[00:13:02] Speaker C: They are true. This is true. I have never. I drove stoned, but I have never driven drunk. And it probably has something to do with the fact that I have not driven since I was
24. Okay.

[00:13:13] Speaker A: I was gonna say that's fair. You haven't driven in a long time. [00:13:16] Speaker C: In a long ass time.
The first time I ever parallel parked, I was stoned, though. [00:13:22] Speaker A: That's. But does that count? I mean. [00:13:25] Speaker C: Oh, that was just bad driving.
Drunk driving. Oh, yes. A friend of mine was.

We were driving to town and he was driving. It's our friend du jour.

And I was in the passenger seat, and he's trying to convince me. He stops, like, mid hill, puts the parking brake on, and is like, we're going to switch and you're going to drive. And I'm like, I have not driven in 20 years. I do not think this is a good idea. And instead of getting out of the car, he, like, sort of slithers into my seat and is, like, trying to switch with me. Why? We don't know.

But I get in the seat and I'm like, okay, I finally got here.

I don't think this is a good idea. And he's just like, you know, being. He was quite A cheerleader. He thought it was a great idea. But then I was like, bro, where's the parking brake? And I couldn't find it. So he was like, yeah, maybe this is a bad idea if you can't find the parking brake. I probably should have let you be driving.

[00:14:36] Speaker A: Probably fucking.

[00:14:38] Speaker C: And we were. That was like, our first night that we ever, like, showed up together somewhere, like, in public. Like, it was our debut, so to speak.

[00:14:49] Speaker A: Well, did you. You got there safely? He drove. [00:14:51] Speaker C: We got there safely. He was. He was drunk.
He was drunk driving. [00:14:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:58] Speaker C: I was not drunk driving, listeners. [00:15:01] Speaker A: That's good for you.
[00:15:01] Speaker C: Again, never driven drunk in my life. [00:15:04] Speaker A: Neither have I.

[00:15:05] Speaker C: Probably because I went to school in New York City. [00:15:07] Speaker A: Not once.
[00:15:08] Speaker C: And because I'm a really bad driver as it is.

[00:15:10] Speaker A: I also did sell my car over a year ago. At this point, I've never looked back. And I honestly, honestly, I don't miss it. I stopped driving. And even when I go visit my family now, like, I have family in California, the South, and New York. And when I go there, like, I don't drive. And no one fights it. I'm like, I have an appointment, like, in la. And my mom's like, I'll drive you, like. Or, you know, we're all going out, and everyone's like, I'll drive. Like, no one is even mad that I'm not driving. Like, it's just. I'm a fucking passenger princess, okay?

[00:15:40] Speaker C: I am friends. [00:15:42] Speaker A: I'm a princess.
[00:15:43] Speaker C: Carly, I feel better being on the road knowing you're not on.

[00:15:46] Speaker A: That's exactly what people have said to. And, you know, I think it's fair. I wish more people like myself would take themselves off the road. I know, but I realize it's. It's.

[00:15:53] Speaker C: But then people say I should wear a helmet, you know? So I talked about that on another With Matt's show. We talked about how the fact that I thought the word helmet had an N in it throughout, like, high school.

[00:16:10] Speaker A: Wait, fucking. Where?

[00:16:13] Speaker C: Oh, you know What? Reference. And nowadrank.com you'll find helmet. Helmet.

[00:16:18] Speaker A: Helmet. [00:16:19] Speaker C: Like a helmet. [00:16:20] Speaker A: A helmet.
[00:16:21] Speaker C: I also thought it was a partridge in a pear tree. Oh, around Christmas, I would say, oh, no, I think.

[00:16:28] Speaker A: I thought. I thought. What is it? I thought it was a partridge and a pair.

[00:16:31] Speaker C: It is a partridge. But little Carly was very convinced and adamant that it was a fartridge.

[00:16:37] Speaker A: A fartridge.

[00:16:38] Speaker C: A fartridge. Do we know what a partridge is? No. I could go back in time and ask little Carly, but little Carly has.

[00:16:45] Speaker A: Kill Me to make up her own words. That's great.

[00:16:47] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. [00:16:48] Speaker A: All right. [00:16:49] Speaker C: Turn. [00:16:49] Speaker A: Spin.
24.

Phone sex. Okay, well, obviously 24 is phone sex, so, I mean, these days it may. [00:17:05] Speaker C: That was not rigged, by the way.
[00:17:08] Speaker A: It was not rigged. And I'm not about to plug. I'm not about to plug my sites.

[00:17:12] Speaker C: Plug it.

[00:17:13] Speaker A: Okay. Yes. Thy queendom.com just go to, like, sessions online.

No. So people these days might think that, like, phone sexting and like, camera video, like, stuff like this comes natural to me because this is my job these days. But, like, I did not have, like, phone sex for the first time until I was like 25 years old. And it was with a long distance boyfriend. And it was so fucking awkward.

[00:17:45] Speaker C: It can be very awkward.

[00:17:47] Speaker A: I was like, why do people do this? Like, I was not into the phone sex thing at all. Like, I was. I literally, like, we talked about I was moving to Korea. It might have been right before I turned 25, I was moving to Korea to teach and he was living in la and we were going to try to make the long distance thing worked. And like, we talked about doing that beforehand and I was just like, I. It's just, you know, like, I'll send you videos and we can, like, I'll send you hot pics, which was also.

[00:18:14] Speaker C: New, but the interaction. So my question is, what changed?

[00:18:20] Speaker A: I think that I just became more okay with like, sexuality and dirty talk and using, like my words to portray shit. Because especially it wasn't even FaceTime. It was like over the phone.

[00:18:33] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that gets weird.

[00:18:35] Speaker A: And yeah, it was like, it was instead of. I think I. Now that I think about it, I think I maybe relied a lot with intimacy, like, on my. On body movement and touch and being together and like, you know, sounds when you're being sexual. I'm not a huge. Actually in my personal sex life, Like, I'm not a huge, like, dirty talker. Like, I'm not my man and I will, like, dirty talk and I'll say things here and there, but, like, I'm not even a fraction personally if I'm not like, oh, spit on that. Like, it's just not who, like, I've ever actually been. So phone sex. Phone sex, like, at first was very fucking awkward and weird for me.

[00:19:15] Speaker C: It does because I'm like, taking myself out of the present moment to be like, what am I gonna say next? Does that sound dirty? Is that articulate? Is that hot? And then

I'm like, I don't even know what's going on otherwise, right and it is.

[00:19:32] Speaker A: And if you actually can get into it, like, and you like close your eyes and you're picturing something and you're speaking and like, you're. You can actually, like, flow with it. But it takes, I think, a level of confidence. And I think when you are in a bedroom with somebody and the lights are down low and the. And the lights are off, like, I even think that sometimes when people get nervous, they kiss like somebody. Like, if people are. If they're seeing someone or like they're with their partner, if they get nervous, they'll kiss instead of actually, like, answer the question or like continuing the conversation. Like, I think it's easy to like, not have the verbal communication when you're in a room.

[00:20:10] Speaker C: Physical, like, in general, like, I'm just really bad at it.

[00:20:15] Speaker A: I don't believe that. I don't believe that I can, like, talk about what I was too. Yeah, I thought I was too. I really thought I was.

[00:20:22] Speaker C: Maybe we should do a webinar about it maybe.

[00:20:24] Speaker A: Yeah, that would be fun to talk about. Because now, obviously, like, nobody would ever think that these days, you know, but. Right.

[00:20:31] Speaker C: Of course.

[00:20:32] Speaker A: But it was only five and a half, five, six years ago, the first time that I ever. [00:20:37] Speaker C: I was like Skyping when I was 29. When you were in diapers, girl. [00:20:42] Speaker A: Oh my God.
[00:20:43] Speaker C: No, you weren't in diapers. [00:20:44] Speaker A: But probably not.
[00:20:46] Speaker C: You were like, you couldn't drive yet. [00:20:48] Speaker A: Definitely couldn't drive yet. [00:20:50] Speaker C: And I had been. I was like, divorced. I am 44, folks.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm 30. So you're 14 years older than me. [00:21:01] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, we were both in a heyday because When I was 14, I was a fucking degenerate piece of shit. Like, I was doing things that I should have. No 14 year old should be involved in. And you were 28 in New York. So we were both involved in some shit that we never should be involved in.

[00:21:17] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:21:18] Speaker A: All right.

[00:21:19] Speaker C: That's my all purpose excuse. I'm like, I went to college and lived in New York city in my 20s and 30s. Like, all purpose excuse for anything.

[00:21:30] Speaker A: Right? Why are we taking.

[00:21:32] Speaker C: We're being told that we're supposed to take a shot. Good Lord.

[00:21:36] Speaker A: Would you like a shot? All right. Armando, my photographer, our photographer came in as well for this weekend.

[00:21:45] Speaker C: Just trying to get through the podcast without his delicate sensibilities being burned to the ground.

[00:21:53] Speaker A: Wait, what? I didn't even know what that was.

Okay. We're spinning for Carly and Da na na na na na na na na na Na, na. You guys are all gonna have that stuck in your heads. Number 26, which is, of course, it is below Jobs.

[00:22:12] Speaker C: Oh, God. What do I.

[00:22:14] Speaker A: Well, this is fun. I like this game. Do I have to start the timer?
[00:22:18] Speaker C: I get no, because I thought I won. [00:22:20] Speaker A: Okay, perfect.
[00:22:21] Speaker C: I can't believe I'm saying this on air. [00:22:24] Speaker A: I love these stories.
[00:22:26] Speaker C: So there is a bar in New York City.

[00:22:29] Speaker A: Oh, God, I hate how this is starting. Oh, my God. [00:22:32] Speaker C: You've been there more than once.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Really? That one.

[00:22:37] Speaker C: That one used to be in a different location. Okay, different location. And one. I've been going there since 2003.
[00:22:48] Speaker A: You also got married there.

[00:22:49] Speaker C: I got married there. I have done a lot of degenerative things there. Very debaucherous place.

It's kind of like a hipster cheers.

[00:23:02] Speaker A: Like, honestly, it's so good.

[00:23:04] Speaker C: I think we should call them out at some point.

[00:23:06] Speaker A: We should, but we shouldn't because, like, we also, like. No, it's our place. It's our.

[00:23:11] Speaker C: It's our place. You can't come.

[00:23:12] Speaker A: And we also can't think about how we do degenerate things there and, like, put them on blast like that. Like, I don't think.

[00:23:17] Speaker C: No, they weren't participating in any of them.

[00:23:20] Speaker A: No, but we were. And we don't want them to start cracking down on our asses. We were not. We were not.

[00:23:26] Speaker C: Yes. They would love the promotion, though, I'm sure.

[00:23:30] Speaker A: Anyways, they would, man. I had a night there a few weeks ago anyways. Just. Oh.

[00:23:35] Speaker C: Oh, no. If you're hijacking my story, then I am at thy queen's feet.

[00:23:39] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. I'm just. I'm literally not hijacking your story. I'm accenting it with, like, it. This place is as fucking just ridiculous at every bit.

[00:23:49] Speaker C: It is about to say it is sort of. [00:23:51] Speaker A: I don't even know the story, but it's.
[00:23:53] Speaker C: It's kind of like a vortex, if you will. It really is like, what happens there stays there. Except when it is talked about on podcasts.

[00:24:03] Speaker A: Except when you leave there and then go elsewhere and you go to other places. Because it starts there and it goes elsewhere.

[00:24:09] Speaker C: Oh, this one started there and went to the keg room with the owner's friend who was visiting from Hungary.

[00:24:19] Speaker A: I met some of those Hungarian friends. Yeah. [00:24:22] Speaker C: And he was, I think, gay. I'm not sure. Pretty sure.
And I was telling him how, like, gay men are typically much better in bed for another man because they know the equipment firsthand. They know what they're doing. And I was like, but I give a very good blow job. And I think there was some.

[00:24:50] Speaker A: You sucked a gay man's dick to prove a point. [00:24:52] Speaker C: I did. Down in the basement in the keg room. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Carly.

[00:24:56] Speaker C: He almost passed out, and then he came home with me. [00:25:00] Speaker A: Oh, and did you.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: And then he went back to Hungary and all was right with the world. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Wait, do you know for a fact that he was gay?
[00:25:09] Speaker C: I don't.

[00:25:10] Speaker A: Okay, yeah. See, what. That's fucking hilarious. Oh, my God. That's the best. Holy shit. Fuck. Okay, bitch, drink.

[00:25:19] Speaker C: Take your big story because you let. [00:25:23] Speaker A: A man be like, oh, yeah, I'm gay. [00:25:26] Speaker C: Like, no, I. I do know for a fact he was.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, Definitely dig better than guys. Like, prove it. Oh, yeah. [00:25:33] Speaker C: It was supposedly the first time he had ever been.
[00:25:37] Speaker A: I've never had a woman. I've never had a one. What? Pegged. You said.

You said literally nothing about pegging this story. This smells like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

[00:25:52] Speaker C: Yeah, not in the keg room. So. [00:25:55] Speaker A: So you sucked his dick and then.
[00:25:56] Speaker C: You pegged him in two separate locations, the first being the keg room and the second being my apartment.

[00:26:04] Speaker A: Right. We can't even focus on Kegrim apart because of the rest of it. So, like, you, then. Did he suck your. Did he suck your strap on?

[00:26:11] Speaker C: I don't remember. How sad is that?
[00:26:14] Speaker A: I don't think it's sad at all. I think it's fantastic. I think it's hilarious. I also think that maybe you're a little played that I just. You don't know exclusively that he's like.

[00:26:25] Speaker C: Oh, he likes the pegging a lot, I'm sure. [00:26:30] Speaker A: Yeah. That doesn't mean he's gay. I mean. [00:26:32] Speaker C: Oh, no, no, no, no.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: I know a lot of straight men who like begging.

[00:26:36] Speaker C: I will. I know quite a few straight men who like pegging.

[00:26:39] Speaker A: Everyone likes a little tweedle in their asshole. Like, don't be shy about it. [00:26:43] Speaker C: So anyway.
[00:26:44] Speaker A: So anyways. All right. Did you take that drink? [00:26:47] Speaker C: I, I. All right.
[00:26:50] Speaker A: Just a sip. Just.

All right. And we're spinning. Dee Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, Dee, dee. [00:26:59] Speaker C: Okay, this is yours.
[00:27:01] Speaker A: 28 hangovers. Okay. Actually, I will tell the story because we're pouring some Jagermeister in Carly's shot glass right now. And the most surprising thing about this weekend is is that I actually have been drinking Jager, and I actually really enjoy it. Like, the licorice aspect of it. But I was telling them this story. I have not drank Jager since my first Time ever drinking to get fucked up. When I was. I was 14 and I was a fucking freshman or I was a fucking eighth grader, and I was in the senior play. Play. And so me and you were in the senior play. I was. I was. I was a theater. And I was good.

[00:27:45] Speaker C: I was a theater child.

[00:27:47] Speaker A: Do you know in eighth grade, I played in the varsity. Played. I played the drunk smoking hooker in the play.

[00:27:54] Speaker C: I played.

[00:27:55] Speaker A: Was it Flowers for Algernon? Flowers to Algernon or whatever Flowers are Algernon. I played like, the drunk. Like the. And then in another play, I played, like the drunk. How Angry Housewife.

[00:28:06] Speaker C: I played. Played girl and Antan and Lemon. [00:28:09] Speaker A: No, totally. Like, of course we.
[00:28:11] Speaker C: And I strangled someone on stage with my stockings that he had taken off of me. Okay, I know that was high school.

[00:28:18] Speaker A: And now they're banning, like, books. What? [00:28:20] Speaker C: Okay, anyways.
[00:28:21] Speaker A: All right. Yeah, we derail. Okay. So. So there was this senior girl, and she was like, I liked her a lot. Good night.

[00:28:27] Speaker C: Shut the. Good night Moon. The Giving Tree. [00:28:30] Speaker A: Oh, my God.

[00:28:31] Speaker C: And people ask, why am I chaotic?

[00:28:36] Speaker A: Okay. My story. Just kidding. I love it. Okay, so senior girl realized, like, I had all I had had taste of alcohol, but I had never been, like, fully drunk. And so we. Her mom was cool, whatever. And so we decided to grab a handle of Jack Daniels and a handle of Jagermeister, and we went to her house and we started drinking Jager Bombs and fudgeing Jack and Cokes while we were just watching tv. And, like, one of my last memories is, like, taking the Jaeger bomb, one of the Jaeger bombs. And, like, looking at the Jack and Coke and, like, being like. I don't know, like, if I like.

[00:29:12] Speaker C: This taste, like, really not supposed to go together.

[00:29:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, this girl, maybe she hated me. I don't know. And so, like, well, if she did, I got that bitch back. Because literally, one of my last memories is looking at this fucking Jack and Coke and being like, I don't really know about this. And. And then I have a flash of sitting in her kitchen with fucking brownie mix all in my mouth, in the fucking. In the fucking floor. And her mom was having a party the next day, and her mom knew we were getting fucked up, but, like, which is crazy, by the way.

This freshman here just getting me smacked on, like, hard, hard, dark liquor for the first time. Like, where were my seltzers? What the fuck? Anywhere. Where was my Mike's Hard Lemonade? Anyways, none of that Zima, where I loved Zima. I fucking loved Zima since I was a small child. We have so much to say about Zima. Please bring Zima back. When I'm fucking super wealthy, I'm bringing Zima back. Anyways, besides the point. I have a flashback of sitting in the floor eating the brownies that were supposed to leave for the mom's party the next day.
Whatever. And then I have a flashback of fucking getting, like, rolling over and puking in her bed. And I saw her. And I have a flashback of her hosing her mattress off out front and I'm watching. And then the next day. The next morning was Mother's Day Day.

It was Mother's Day. And so.

[00:30:28] Speaker C: Oh, my God, we could do, like, an entire episode just about, like, child so bad.

[00:30:34] Speaker A: Like, so my dad and my brother had. I don't know what they had to do that day. They had to go do something. I don't know if he was playing baseball. Whatever. Like, he.
They had to leave. So my mom was by herself on Mother's Day, and she. I remember her calling me, like, in the morning, and I am ill. I am so ill. Oh, and you.

[00:30:52] Speaker C: Would have been hurting.

[00:30:53] Speaker A: I was not okay. My life was spinning. And she literally was like, hey, like, do you want to go get breakfast? And I told her, no, I'm not hungry on Mother's Day. Oh, God. That's one of those things that, like, when I'm, like, 80 years old and mom's been, you know, hopefully she's still with us, but, like, if she's not when I'm, like, 80, I'm just gonna.

[00:31:14] Speaker C: I don't think she's gonna still be around when you're 80. But one.

[00:31:18] Speaker A: Whenever I'm without my mother, that's probably the story that I'm just gonna sit in bed and sob over. Like, I told her I wasn't hungry because it was so.

And it was awful. Anyways, yeah, Hangover Girl, it was awful. We went to that night, we went to Outback with the family, and then we went to go see what happens in Vegas with Ashton

Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. And I don't know if you know the end sequence where they're making out on the beach and the camera. The camera spins around them and guys, I felt like I was going to hurl in this movie theater with, like, my grandma and grandpa and my mom and my dad and everything. So I have not had Jaeger since then until now. And also my mom. I'm so sorry. I love you. I wish I could take it back, but Also, I never was invited to that girl's house again. Like, there was vomit everywhere. Showers, mattress.

[00:32:10] Speaker C: I just like. Mattress.
[00:32:14] Speaker A: She took. I just have a flash of her. It was either a comforter or the mattress or whatever. I can't tell you because we were in the front and I was just sitting there and, like, she was hosing off some shit. But there was vomit just everywhere. And the brownies. There was brownie mix all over the house.

[00:32:29] Speaker C: That's a Judd Apatow movie.

[00:32:31] Speaker A: It was fucking horrific. Like, this girl, like, bless her. I know she was, like, trying to, like, be cool, but where the fuck was the Mike's Hard Lemonade?

[00:32:41] Speaker C: It's her fault for mixing Jack.

[00:32:43] Speaker A: Where was the Natty Light? The piss beer? [00:32:45] Speaker B: No.
[00:32:46] Speaker A: And it was a fifth. It was a fucking handle of Jack. A handle of Jaeger. And it's not even like we were partying. We were watching tv. Oh, we were watching tv. Just like, Jaeger bomb. Jack and Coke. Jaeger bomb.

No, you're supposed to drink fucking piss beer.

[00:33:02] Speaker C: Like a party where we all got really stoned and people were, like, velociraptoring around and then.

[00:33:11] Speaker A: Were you also on acid?

[00:33:12] Speaker C: No, I was just stoned. And I gotta tell you, the beginning of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is extraordinarily disturbing. When you're very stone. No, it's at 15. Like the candyman can.

[00:33:25] Speaker A: No, I think it's just supposed. I think it's actually. It is disturbing when you are up and you're in the mind that it's supposed to be seen in. And I think when you're sober, you don't see. See it as disturbing.

[00:33:35] Speaker C: Red pill, blue pill, that 100.

[00:33:38] Speaker A: I think that. I think actually being up and seeing Charlie, whatever the Charlie Brown Charlie, I think you've. You're. I think they were up when they wrote it, and I think you're supposed to watch it.

[00:33:51] Speaker C: Like, you know, they've got four grandparents who they're coexisting not

just under the same roof, but under the same bed. [00:34:00] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:34:01] Speaker C: Like, have you not seen this movie? [00:34:03] Speaker A: I have, but I didn't actually pick up on.
[00:34:05] Speaker C: They're literally, like, sitting across from one another in bed. And it was like a miracle that Uncle Joe.

[00:34:11] Speaker A: Everyone's alive, gets out.

[00:34:13] Speaker C: Like, that was a really disturbing movie. And you gotta wonder everything behind it. And then you wonder about, like, grooming on set. I mean, come on.

[00:34:24] Speaker A: You do. But I'm not sure what I'm gonna. It's gonna personally take me a moment to connect those Dots.

But I do wonder about grooming on set. I'm just not exactly sure how those. But maybe we'll figure it out.

[00:34:37] Speaker C: There was a young actor. It was all the young actors. Like, I was a child, actually.
[00:34:42] Speaker A: I also. I. Well, I was like. I wanted to be a child actor. I was like a fucking. [00:34:47] Speaker C: I learned the bite and smile technique.
[00:34:49] Speaker A: I took the bite and smile. [00:34:52] Speaker C: The bite and smile.
[00:34:53] Speaker A: Yeah. I auditioned for, like, sweet Life of Zach and Cody, and I was supposed to be one of those traumatized, like, Nick. Nick Kid stars. Like, I was like. I auditioned for, like, Zoe101 and, like.

[00:35:05] Speaker C: Did you?

[00:35:05] Speaker A: Yeah, and like, sweet, like, three auditions in for Lolita. Wow. [00:35:10] Speaker C: The remake of Lolita.
[00:35:11] Speaker A: I was reading that when I was like 10 years old, and I know.

[00:35:14] Speaker C: I thought it was the coolest thing that I was gonna get to kiss Jeremy Irons and I was like 14 years old. That's kind of disturbing.

[00:35:21] Speaker A: It is super disturbing.

[00:35:22] Speaker C: It was the 90s. I mean, things were very different than child labor laws and like, you know, all that.

[00:35:30] Speaker A: Honestly, we got off the rails. Go Demi Lovato for doing the child. The child protection.

[00:35:36] Speaker C: Yeah.

[00:35:36] Speaker A: Services. Anyways, you know what? This is taking a not very fun turn. Not that we don't care about those things. We do deeply. But tonight we're getting fucked up. So spinny. Spinny for Carly. Cheerio. Dee Dee Dee. Dee Dee.

[00:35:50] Speaker C: Oh, this is my story. Yeah. [00:35:52] Speaker A: This is for you, I think. Right. [00:35:53] Speaker C: Anticipation.
[00:35:55] Speaker A: 20 stoner moments.

[00:36:00] Speaker C: Stoner moments. Like, beyond this one.

[00:36:04] Speaker A: Honestly, that was a really good answer. Like, I mean, I guess we could go back.

[00:36:10] Speaker C: I mean, I could have preempted it with the Willy Wonka and the chocolate factor. Totally.

[00:36:15] Speaker A: I think.

[00:36:16] Speaker C: Yeah. Cause that was a stoner moment. Sitting there watching and then like, you like.

[00:36:21] Speaker A: Yeah, no 100%.

[00:36:23] Speaker C: That was wrapped up situation. That was a lot that was left over from.
Yeah. We were all theater kids. That's basically the only way to explain it.

[00:36:38] Speaker A: Between that and this whole weekend being a stoner moment, I think, I mean.

[00:36:43] Speaker C: Basically, anytime you're with Carly, it's a stoner moment. You're like, did that really happen?

[00:36:48] Speaker A: I don't know. I'm thinking, like, you being here this weekend, I feel like I wear out smoking. I'm out smell like you're. You're keeping up 100, but you're getting stoned as like. I think I smoke a lot of weed.

[00:36:59] Speaker C: I don't drink very much.

[00:37:01] Speaker A: Okay, we don't drink that much. We. It's been a party this weekend.

[00:37:04] Speaker C: I'm Like, I'm basically a non drinker. Like you can. [00:37:08] Speaker A: I wouldn't be able to tell from this weekend house.
[00:37:12] Speaker C: And like, they just sit there. I'm just not a drinker. I like my. My molta.

[00:37:16] Speaker A: Well, that may be true. And it may also be true that I would not be able to tell you that from evidence of this weekend because we've been drinking, we've been smoking, we've been booty shaking, women's shaking our asses.

[00:37:30] Speaker C: Shake that ass.

[00:37:31] Speaker A: Shake that ass. Shake that ass. But it's okay, because when you leave tomorrow, I'm gonna do a juice cleanser or some. Yeah, get my, like, Reiki on and like, cleanse.

[00:37:40] Speaker C: Just sage yourself.

[00:37:41] Speaker A: Sage and fucking sage. It looks like a fucking bomb went off in my house. I need one of my subs to come over here and clean this shit because it's a disaster in here after the photo shoot anyways. All right, so speaking of stoner moment, I'm going to hit my spliff as we spin. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. We are on 39 teachers.

Well, to be fair, I didn't go to high school very long, but one of my biggest fantasies, especially growing up, was always hooking up with a teacher. Like one of my, like, I had, like. I think I have an authority kink.

And when I went to a boarding school, I went to an arts school in like, the middle of bum, Egypt.

And I had a history teacher who was like, in his 60s, 60s, and he had, like, silver, like, silver parted hair, and he was, like, old. And he would, like. I was sat like, directly in front of, like, the class, and he had, like, pants, and he would, like, kind of move his tie out of the way and like, I would just sit in the history class and like, kind of check this, like, old dude out. I think it might be, like, where my old thing thing, like, started. Totally silver fox. But what's crazy is I would actually tell my mom about him, like, and I would make. I would go out of my way. I would like m. Test and to, like, go out of my way to go there, like, person. I had some guys. I'm up. Okay. Like, thank God some older men in these situations had some restraints when I was younger. Cuz, like, I had no restraints.

[00:39:12] Speaker C: Oh, God.

[00:39:13] Speaker A: And like, I thought I was 30 years old when I was like, 16. 100%. And I would, like, literally. And I would try to go out of my way to, like, be able to go have a test there. And I would, like, fantasize about like what would happen and like I would be. I would like listen, I was super smart in his class and he would like rub my back and not. That's weird. Wait, hold on.

[00:39:40] Speaker C: Would anyone like to live out this king with Professor Queen Low?

[00:39:47] Speaker A: I'm not saying his name, but I do. I remember there we were. I. There was
a. We had a. We had a test one day and like everybody was. I had listened and people were like fall like had their heads down. Of course I did not because I was like always like kissing his ass. I was like a brown noser. Which I was always a brown noser. He's not the only one. Like I had college professors. It's kind of like the same, same story kind of lived out in my head for like

years and years and nothing ever actually happened. But yeah, this history professor and like my, like I went to 11th grade grade for like three months before I left high school al together. But we had a test one day and I remember him singing me a lullaby. And because I was done and he like rubbed my back and sang me a lullaby. And to me it was like the most sensual thing ever.
And it probably wasn't at all. But anyways, all this hang a lullaby he did. He sang a lullaby in front of the whole class as he rubbed my back because I was sleep, I was laying down and everybody else, everybody else was having to do their test because I was done. I was brown noser. I was a fucking kiss ass.

[00:40:44] Speaker C: But why?

[00:40:45] Speaker A: Because he was like being obnoxious. I don't know. But all this to say that my mom fucking showed up at my graduation and she was so ready to see this fucking silver fox. And I still haven't lived down like the way that she was just like, Lauren, that's him. She's like, that's the silver fox. Like, what the fudge? And I think it just goes to show that I was born. I was like in the fucking shithead south. And I think the fantasy of like the authority, like the fantasy of the teacher, like the idea of like the teacher, the hot thing, I think that was stronger than the actual teacher in this space. And that's how I tried to like rationalize it. That's how I tried to justify it. Because when I look back I'm like, bro, that's wild. Like I went out of my way to try to. Maybe we, maybe we shouldn't keep that story. But he was, you know, there was no, no boundaries were crossed. Just. Just me being a tyrant.

[00:41:36] Speaker C: Mr. Lullaby.

[00:41:37] Speaker A: Just me being a Tyrant since literally the day I was born. [00:41:40] Speaker C: So attention Kmart hoppers.
[00:41:46] Speaker A: I'll take a drink for that because I'm a fucking degenerate. I've had a lot of really incredible teachers as well, but I always. Honestly, one of my. And my man knows this.
Oh, my kinky name for my man is the Professor. Like, absolutely. [00:42:02] Speaker C: Do you watch Money Heist?
[00:42:05] Speaker A: I have watched. Yes, I have, but I had the Professor. We actually, I just watched the Money Heist a couple months ago. And the Professor I have. I've had. Oh, totally predated. That's been like over at least a year and a half. And it completely comes from that, like, that she's looking at. Looking at my man. I see you, Professor. Yeah, anyways, all right. So kind of sad that was never lived out. I had a friend in college who I knew was fucking one of her professors. And I went to a private Christian university.

[00:42:37] Speaker C: Oh, God.

[00:42:37] Speaker A: And it was like, she told me about it and like, obviously it was a big thing in, like, her life. And I just was like, God, I feel for you. And this is really fucked up. And I'm so fucking jealous. Like, shit. Like, why couldn't this happen to me?

[00:42:49] Speaker C: Like, okay, I want my scandal.

[00:42:52] Speaker A: I want my professor's scandal. What the fuck?

[00:42:56] Speaker C: Okay, what do we got here? We are anxiously awaiting 43.

[00:43:00] Speaker A: 43 is coyote ugly moments. I was really hoping to get this one, but you go ahead.

[00:43:06] Speaker C: You go ahead.

[00:43:07] Speaker A: No, you go. No, you go ahead. And then I'm gonna share my Coyote moment. It's gonna take like, I don't know.

[00:43:12] Speaker C: If I remember a Coyote Ugly moment.

[00:43:16] Speaker A: This was the only one. I looked at the list and I was like, this is the only one. I have an obvious answer for.

[00:43:20] Speaker C: I can't think of any.

[00:43:23] Speaker A: Are you serious? You can't think of a moment that you've been up on the bar inappropriately?

[00:43:28] Speaker C: Oh, no, I'm talking about like a Coyote Ugly moment. [00:43:33] Speaker A: Like singing, dancing on the bar.
[00:43:35] Speaker C: No, is when you.

You have a one night stand after beer goggles.

[00:43:40] Speaker A: Wait, what the fuck? This is not a Coyote Ugly moment. What are you talking.

[00:43:44] Speaker C: What, you've not heard this? This is the story she tells in the movie that a Coyote Ugly is when you would rather chew your own arm off to leave in the morning than stay there and say hello to the guy who really didn't look like.

[00:44:04] Speaker A: Oh, my God, I've had so many of those. Fuck, I've had. [00:44:07] Speaker C: Yeah, but I mean, they all sort of blend together. [00:44:10] Speaker A: They do.
[00:44:10] Speaker C: They sort of blend together. They're all in the desirables category. Undesirables.

[00:44:16] Speaker A: I thought Coyote Ugly moment was, like dancing on a bar. And I was going to tell you.

[00:44:19] Speaker C: Guys, oh, well, I've done that. I did that in Marbella, Spain. [00:44:24] Speaker A: I thought, well, yeah.
[00:44:25] Speaker C: And then I ended up, like, having a wild affair for two days with the bartender who used to teach Arnold Schwarzenegger skiing in Vancouver, Canada.

[00:44:39] Speaker A: Wow.

[00:44:40] Speaker C: Yeah, that's it.

[00:44:41] Speaker A: That is a Coyote ugly moment. I just. I danced on the bar at Red.

[00:44:44] Speaker C: Lobster once, so I thought Red Lobster. I didn't know Red Lobster had a bar.

[00:44:49] Speaker A: Well, like, at the family. The bar. Yeah, it was. It was closed down, and I was working at a little chain restaurant, so my kitchen staff was friends with the Red Lobster kitchen staff. So after hours, we'd get up in the Red Lobster kitchen, and there is a. I have not been able to find it. I'm not gatekeeping it, but there is somewhere. I've seen it. This was, like, 10 years ago, a video of me on YouTube dancing on the bar at Red Lobster.

[00:45:15] Speaker C: I'm really scared of. [00:45:17] Speaker A: If anybody can find that.
[00:45:20] Speaker C: I mean, I'm gonna show you my blackmail material after this. Not blackmail of other people. Like, what people could blackmail me with. It is a children's educational video about money called Piggy banks to money markets. You can actually get it on Amazon, and I was in it.

[00:45:39] Speaker A: Why are you giving your blackmail information? [00:45:42] Speaker C: Because it'll get edited out.
I'm gonna show this to you afterwards, and you're gonna be like, oh, my God, this is most baffling.

[00:45:52] Speaker A: Can we talk about. Okay, we're taking a shot because, like, how it's very stupid to keep your own blackmail material. Like, it. Would it just be like, what do.

[00:46:00] Speaker C: We blackmail Carly with on a podcast?

[00:46:03] Speaker A: Oh, look, she has a photo album here called blackmail material.

We're gonna finish this. We're gonna do one more regular question each. Lightning round questions. Okay. Okay.

[00:46:15] Speaker C: I think we can do it. [00:46:16] Speaker A: Let's do it. [00:46:17] Speaker C: Good.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: Number 10. Let's see Miami.
[00:46:28] Speaker C: Oh.

[00:46:31] Speaker A: Literally, like, I went there once to get a cruise. Was super. I'm gonna

drink it. Was not impressed. Like, honestly, like, I think, you know, it's not even important what I think about Miami. Cheers.

[00:46:44] Speaker C: I'm not a big fan of Miami. [00:46:46] Speaker A: I'm sorry. That's.
I'm just not either. Like, it's just not my Jim jam. But whatever. I guess Dexter is in Miami, so, like, that's the best thing about Miami. So. All right. Because I drank, I spin again. Let's see. Da Da da da da da da da da da da da da.

Kissing.

[00:47:11] Speaker C: Hey, I know. What was your first kiss?

[00:47:15] Speaker A: My first kiss was my like first pecking. Like just regular kiss, however you define it. My first peck was under the table in kindergarten with Ryan, and we got in a lot of trouble. And that was the same class. Mr. Michael, who I also had a crush on. The teacher had a big crush on Mr. Michael.

[00:47:36] Speaker C: We have a theme in kindergarten.

[00:47:38] Speaker A: No, I told you, crush on all teachers. So Mr. Michael. But he was the one who routed us out and we got in fucking trouble. And anyway, so Ryan and I, that was my first kiss. And then actually when I started my only fans four years ago, he was one of my first subs.

[00:47:52] Speaker C: Mr. Michael? [00:47:53] Speaker A: No. Fuck no. [00:47:54] Speaker C: I wish.
[00:47:54] Speaker A: Oh, God. Although I thought he's a fat lord right by now. Like, seriously, I bet. I look back, I'd be a little.

[00:47:59] Speaker C: Worried if he was like one of your first subs.

[00:48:02] Speaker A: Me too. But I do have concerning subs, but that's a different conversation. So Ryan, my first kindergarten kiss, who also in kindergarten, I. There was him and there was this other guy, Josh. And Josh was behind me in line in kindergarten, like in alphabetical order.

[00:48:18] Speaker C: Oh, in alphabetical order.

[00:48:19] Speaker A: And Ryan was in after school care with me. But I would ask them both each day which one to kiss you. No, I would ask them each day which one they would like me to marry. And they both would say themselves. And so I kept that up for a while, but. So Ryan actually was one of my first subscribers on Only fans like four years ago. Super supportive. He was great. And actually sent me a video of himself doing some conscious ejaculation exercises and sent me this video and to date, to date, one of the most impressive videos with conscious ejaculation semen retention. Like I've seen Go Ryan. He came, but it was like he spurt a little bit out and then he like. Did he pause and then he did it like really slowly.

[00:49:05] Speaker C: That shakes.

[00:49:06] Speaker A: And then stopped and then did it really slowly. And when he first sent it to me, he sent it to me and I was like, oh, man. Like, of course. This is where our story is going.
And then I opened it and I was like, actually, you know what?

Cool. Like, we must have. I mean, we must have started something there under the table in kindergarten. And it's. It's still going. So shout out, Ryan. Hope you're doing well and still practicing all that conscious.

[00:49:29] Speaker C: Go Ryan. We support you.

[00:49:31] Speaker A: I'm used. Yeah, okay. Anyways, nothing more needs to be. [00:49:33] Speaker C: How About I just tell my. My story of my first kiss. [00:49:36] Speaker A: You should absolutely.
[00:49:37] Speaker C: My first kiss. And this is like French kiss. [00:49:40] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. Like me and Ryan just little pack. [00:49:43] Speaker C: Like what I consider my first kiss.
[00:49:45] Speaker A: Yeah. How old were you?

[00:49:47] Speaker C: I was. It was the summer after sixth grade, so I was just about to go into junior high.

[00:49:54] Speaker A: Late bloomer.

[00:49:55] Speaker C: Just kidding. Well, I mean.

[00:49:58] Speaker A: No, I'm just kidding. That's totally normal. I'm just literally not.

[00:50:03] Speaker C: So. I had a big crush on this kid and his brother who was a year younger than us, had a big crush on me. But we all went to like summer theater camp together, of course.

And I remember at the cast party for. Yes, I know. [00:50:23] Speaker A: We love cast parties.
[00:50:25] Speaker C: We love cast parties. You gotta know what happens to cast.

[00:50:27] Speaker A: Parties when I watched the theater, even when it's Broadway. Like when any. Anytime I watch theater, all I can think about when I'm watching this beautiful art is like the like, who's who and like what's going on at the cast party.

[00:50:38] Speaker C: Oh, the cast party.

[00:50:39] Speaker A: Anyways, that's a side thought. Go ahead.

[00:50:41] Speaker C: So the cast party for this one included me kissing Billy, the younger

brother for the very first time.

And then we were. We were like in the woods because it was at someone's like, you know, summer house or something that had happened. And I grew up in Massachusetts, so it was sort of like semi on the water, but not.

And we walked back to where everyone else was and they were already engaged in a game of truth or dare. So as soon as I walked back in, I was dare to kiss his best friend.

So I did. And then it was followed up by kisses brother. So I did. And that was my first kiss. Was all three of them.

[00:51:31] Speaker A: Oh yeah. [00:51:32] Speaker C: In like five minutes.
[00:51:34] Speaker A: Oh my God. Good for you. [00:51:36] Speaker C: I start out strong.
[00:51:38] Speaker A: Hell yeah. We both did. In our own ways. [00:51:42] Speaker C: We owned it.
[00:51:43] Speaker A: Good for you.

[00:51:43] Speaker C: We owned it. And I guess, like, it's really weird, but like the two brothers now like share a Facebook Facebook page or something.

[00:51:50] Speaker A: No, that is really.

[00:51:51] Speaker C: It's very weird. They have like, you know, the ex brothers or whatever their last name was.

[00:51:57] Speaker A: Their.

[00:51:57] Speaker C: Their Facebook page is both of them. I don't know about their IG. They're like 40 something.

[00:52:04] Speaker A: So they may know what's going on with that. [00:52:07] Speaker C: I don't know what's happening with the brothers.
[00:52:09] Speaker A: I don't trust anybody whose Facebook page is. There is. [00:52:13] Speaker C: There is them and their brother. And they weren't even twins. They were like Irish twins where like they were the same year.
[00:52:23] Speaker A: Oh, but not the Same womb.

[00:52:25] Speaker C: No, it was the same. Not the same womb.

[00:52:27] Speaker A: Correct. Okay. Yeah. [00:52:29] Speaker C: Yes. So not the same. [00:52:31] Speaker A: Actually. Not twins.
[00:52:32] Speaker C: Well, it's technically the same womb, but not at the same time.

[00:52:37] Speaker A: Shut the up. The same. So, yeah, me and my brother are twins as well. We shared my mother's womb. 18 months apart.

[00:52:44] Speaker C: Well, no, it's when you share it within a year that you're called Irish twins. [00:52:49] Speaker A: Wow. Bless that woman. Hope she's doing well. Hope she's recovered. [00:52:53] Speaker C: Oh, she was great. Mary. She was great. We liked Mary.
I never, like, met her in that capacity, so she didn't come up on the Meet the Parents question. But that's true. Yeah. I think it's rapid fire time.

[00:53:08] Speaker A: Okay.

[00:53:09] Speaker C: I think if your listeners have heard enough of Carl.

[00:53:11] Speaker A: Honestly, I genuinely. I think we could probably sit here all night and they would be totally fine. Are we. Is it time for a drink? Should we drink to start? Rapid fire? We're gonna have a rapid fire Stone.

[00:53:21] Speaker C: Spill it on my laptop. [00:53:22] Speaker A: Don't spill it. Okay, so.
So we're gonna pivot to the pivot questionnaire to close us out. And we have a couple questions from the Inside Actor Studio questionnaire. And we're gonna ask them and have a few seconds to answer question answers. Let's start. Carly, your favorite word.

[00:53:46] Speaker C: Soul. Like S O, U, L. Wow, that's beautiful. Thank you.

[00:53:52] Speaker A: I don't know. I was going to say something that just, like, sounded cool, like onomatopoeia.

[00:53:56] Speaker C: Onomatopoeia is a great word.

[00:53:58] Speaker A: It is. You know, like, it just sounds cool. Like it's a great word. [00:54:01] Speaker C: It's like it's a Scrabble word.
[00:54:04] Speaker A: It is a Scrabble word. Can I spell automatopoeia?
No.

[00:54:10] Speaker C: I don't think I can either.

[00:54:12] Speaker A: Oh, and so I guess it's not a Scrabble. [00:54:15] Speaker C: I don't even play Scrabble.
[00:54:17] Speaker A: I guess it's not a Scrabble word.

[00:54:20] Speaker C: I'm a chess player who doesn't play chess.

[00:54:22] Speaker A: Oh, well, you know what? We like automatopoeia anyways. It just rolls off the tongue, all y'all. So, anyway, so what's your least favorite word?

[00:54:31] Speaker C: Alexandria?

[00:54:33] Speaker A: What do you have? Like, was someone mean to you? And yes. At school.

[00:54:37] Speaker C: Yes. Alexandria, Virginia. Least favorite town. Oh, no. I really dislike wasabi, too.

[00:54:43] Speaker A: The word wasabi. I know.

[00:54:45] Speaker C: Everything about wasabi will extend it to the word.

[00:54:49] Speaker A: I mean, it's a little weird because I like it. I'm, like, hot. Like, wasabi. [00:54:51] Speaker C: Wasabi.
[00:54:52] Speaker A: That's weird. All right. That's Fine. [00:54:54] Speaker C: I don't know. I just.
[00:54:57] Speaker A: Miley's favorite word, I think has to be classy. [00:55:00] Speaker C: Really?
[00:55:01] Speaker A: I fucking hate that word. I think it's probably because, like, where I like. I don't know, like, you always grab, like, be classy. Be classy, which kind of means, like, it's a.

[00:55:09] Speaker C: It is like, oh, well, then that's about, like.

[00:55:14] Speaker A: I don't know, like. Like classy. Like, she. She's in the corner. She's quiet. She, like, doesn't curse. She's like, very.

[00:55:20] Speaker C: She's like, baby.

[00:55:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. Baby from Dirty Dancing. No, don't put her in the corner. No one puts. Baby was not classy. They were mad because she's not classy. Yeah, I don't like the word classy. I like. But I like elegant instead. Okay, number. All right, we have. Okay, what? What? Turn. No, I don't like that one. Okay, let's see. What's your favorite curse word?

I would have to say same. I also. Really? Yeah. No, I'm not. I would say cunt, but cunt is not a

cuss word. It's not a curse word, but it's the connotation that makes it that way. But I'm taking that back. Cunt is not a curse.

[00:55:57] Speaker C: I'm a big fan of the word.

[00:55:59] Speaker A: I love the word cunt. So it's like. It's like, you are cunt. Lick my cunt. [00:56:04] Speaker C: Someone's being like, give cunt.
[00:56:07] Speaker A: Like, it's great. Cunt is great face. I would say cunt face. Yeah, totally. Yeah, so I would say favorite coach also. Oh, God is my favorite word. And again, like, my grandma, bless her, but she'll be like, don't say fuck so much. It's not classy.

Oh, fuck off, grandma. I don't want to be fucking classy. It's like one of the things that I am fucking not. I'm fucking sorry. All right, so next one. What sound or noise do you love?

[00:56:35] Speaker C: Rain.

[00:56:36] Speaker A: Oh, that's nice. I like the ching ching sounds going off on my phone when my fucking sluts are sending me money.

[00:56:43] Speaker C: Oh, that's a good one. [00:56:44] Speaker A: When it's raining.
[00:56:45] Speaker C: That's when it's raining. Even better. [00:56:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
What sound or noise do you hate? [00:56:51] Speaker C: Shrill voices.
[00:56:55] Speaker A: The noise that I hate is construction. Like drill. Like electric. Electric tools. God damn it. No. [00:57:04] Speaker C: Especially on, like, a Saturday morning. [00:57:06] Speaker A: No, no, no. All the way off.
[00:57:08] Speaker C: Yeah.

[00:57:08] Speaker A: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? [00:57:11] Speaker C: Fixer.
[00:57:13] Speaker A: I feel that I'm kind of Like, I would like to be like, a spy, I think. [00:57:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:57:16] Speaker A: They're kind of like, like Jennifer Aniston.

[00:57:18] Speaker C: Two sides of the same coin in a way. There's an espionage.

[00:57:22] Speaker A: I would be like, finding you. But I don't know if I'm a good or a bad spy, but I'm like Jennifer Gardner and Alias.

[00:57:27] Speaker C: Oh, that's my one that you call when, like, you can't call your closest advisors.

[00:57:36] Speaker A: Right. You're working like, you're working in that gray area. [00:57:38] Speaker C: I'm in the shadows.
[00:57:40] Speaker A: You're in the shadows. I would like to work within, in all of the areas as a spy, because I'm a spy and I have different names and different wigs and different things, but I'm a fixer.

[00:57:50] Speaker C: I'm a fixer.

[00:57:51] Speaker A: Yeah. And we probably would work together in that lifetime too. Oh, my God. The spy and the fixer. Maybe you would be my fixer.

[00:57:58] Speaker C: I mean, you could be my spy.

[00:58:00] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Okay, cool. So that's good to know. So what profession would you not like to do?

[00:58:06] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I don't want to be the President's spray tan person. [00:58:14] Speaker A: Clearly she doesn't either. They don't either.
[00:58:16] Speaker C: Because I don't think so. Like, very streaky job. [00:58:20] Speaker A: It's the worst thing ever.
[00:58:23] Speaker C: I can't imagine that. Really?

[00:58:25] Speaker A: It's so bad. How am I supposed to pay attention to the world burning when the.

[00:58:29] Speaker C: When I've got burning in front of me? [00:58:32] Speaker A: Right. It's like literally a physical image. Image. [00:58:34] Speaker C: Lift the balls, Donnie.
[00:58:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, God.

Anyways, we should probably drink to that because we may as well all get up. Cheers to the world.
[00:58:45] Speaker C: I really gotta move this laptop that's sitting here, clink over every single time.

[00:58:51] Speaker A: What profession would I not like to do? Well, pretty much any of them. So. Yeah, any of them. Any of them with a boss? Any of them with authority? Anything with.
Anywhere in an office or I have to go somewhere, deal with people or. Yeah, so pretty much any profession that's not Profession.

If heaven exists. Okay, this is the last one, guys. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

[00:59:22] Speaker C: Wow, What a surprise. [00:59:25] Speaker A: Shut the fuck up. [00:59:29] Speaker C: What a surprise.
[00:59:32] Speaker A: Yeah, mine's. Well done, Queen. Well done. That's. I'm. I'm. I'm thinking. [00:59:38] Speaker C: I think that.
[00:59:38] Speaker A: I think I'm gonna have the red carpet rolled out. It's in the trumpets there. And I'm just gonna get there and he's gonna be like, well, don't. Or she. She's. I'm gonna get there and they are gonna be like, well done, Queen. Well done.

[00:59:52] Speaker C: Well done. [00:59:53] Speaker A: Feast. Feast. [00:59:55] Speaker C: My job here is done.
[00:59:56] Speaker A: My job here is done. I may rest. I won't be able to rest until it's all done. I know. God damn it. I've got an exciting future. I know the Christians hate my fucking ass because they. They don't even know what such a. Whereas pearly beautiful future.

[01:00:11] Speaker C: The opposite. Like, if I came to meet Lucifer at. [01:00:17] Speaker A: He would also be like, well done, Queen Low. Well done.
[01:00:20] Speaker C: He would have been like, that fucking time we've been waiting for you same stand over here with the French.

[01:00:28] Speaker A: Well, I mean, maybe I'm like, maybe I'm as omnipresent as I would like to believe sometimes. And I'm gonna go to both places. Both Satan and God are going to be like, well done, Queen. Well done. And speaking of well done, do you have a final thought?

[01:00:45] Speaker C: Visit us at we are PS Group dot com. [01:00:49] Speaker A: Yes. For this exact.
[01:00:50] Speaker C: Trust your brand with me.

[01:00:54] Speaker A: I did. I did. And it's working out great.

This was so much fun. And yes, look up Carly. Her info will be in the notes and she'll be back.

She. We're always around. And also, yeah, give us a shout. [01:01:09] Speaker C: We'll still be here.
[01:01:11] Speaker A: We're definitely done drinking and are gonna go to sleep now. And it's all done and, you know, so.

[01:01:17] Speaker C: Or we could do a live stream. We're not sure. [01:01:20] Speaker A: All right, Good night. Let's see.
[01:01:25] Speaker C: Thank you for having me. [01:01:29] Speaker B: What you waiting for?
She's got what you need While you over there at the door Nightmares are dreams you just need believe the queen has all that you should need Just say that queen can come that will be done.

Come right in close the door Just wait for what she's got in store. [01:01:57] Speaker A: Come right in close the door Just.
[01:02:00] Speaker B: Wait for what she got in store Dreams can come from nightmares too the queendom will take take over you Dreams can come from nightmares too the queendom will take over you Go and get a love. Thy queen.

[01:02:21] Speaker A: Thy queendom Come is a production of TQC, LLC with original music by Guillermo Jamont Jr. And AJ Laurie.

Where's your generosity today? Give charity. Give charity.
[01:02:45] Speaker B: Who need it more than you? [01:02:47] Speaker A: I needed a lot I had they. [01:02:51] Speaker C: Didn'T tell this is a good one. [01:02:55] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
Your waterboard. This information out of me. What are you doing? Why do you have this so easily pulled up? Why could you just pull this up right now?